diary of a single woman — Blog The Dating Diary

Week of May 2nd 2015

Dear Diary ,

Sorry I've been MIA the week- I was away in the Dominican for a week with my Bestie Nicole. We booked last minute after an unfortunate text message from my ex The PA (aka party animal) sent me into a horrible spiral of self-pity. The PA is the last guy that I dated seriously that treated me like shit but I stuck around because I was trying to "fix him." It lasted five months before I finally realized that I was the one that needed fixing if I was willing to put up with such a Dick for so long. Long story short he messaged me saying, "Happy Bird day..", (even though it has been a month since my birthday.) Clearly he was high, unless in the unlikely event it was some sort of day in celebration of birds but somehow I doubt that.

I graciously sent a message saying "thank you but you're a month late." to which he responded ten hours later, "Who is this?" Of course, I called Nicole to console me. After polishing off two glasses of wine we stumbled upon a great, non-refundable deal to Dominican, which on a sober head the next day we could not get out off. So last Tuesday we packed our bags and took off down South.

The trip was an entirely relaxing holiday where I met zero men but on the bright side Nicole and I were showered with good fortune- from a free room upgrade to the honeymoon suite, to private candlelit tables for dinner. It was only on our last day that I realized they thought we were lesbians- why else would two relatively good-looking, almost thirty year olds be single right?

Anyway, back from paradise now and realize that I may be destined to spend the rest of my life in a faux, lesbian relationship with Nicole. Feeling quite happy about that actually-things could be much worse!

I'll be back shortly. I am awfully intrigued by a show on TV at the moment called, "Naked and Afraid." (Partially to do with the fact that this sums up exactly how I feel about seeing my body post-vacation in my unflattering bathroom lighting.) Also if you're wondering about Alfie, he is still with me. My roommate watched him for me while I was away. I missed that little cranky bastard.

Talk soon babies